Shifting from Ego to Love
On a beautiful spring evening 15 years ago, I experienced an epiphany that rocked me to my core. Sitting in the front row of a book-signing event, I watched as the author stepped onto the stage. Wearing a crisp white blouse and a tidy ponytail, she struck me as an individual who had her life completely under control. She began her speech that evening by singing a heartfelt song about her personal struggle with anxiety and feelings of unworthiness. Her words plunged into my heart and unlocked a hidden door to a dark room of sadness within me. I began to sob. Uncontrollable, heaving sobs. In that moment, I realized that not only did I not like myself…but I loathed myself. At 30 years old, this shocking awareness thrust me onto a healing path that would become the most important journey of my life.
(photo: Kyle Broad on Unsplash)
One of the big things I have learned since this unforgettable evening is that unless we disconnect from our ego, we are never truly free and our happiness is fleeting. Unless we are aware of the ego’s various tactics and facades, we can be sucked down a dark hole of self-judgement and self-doubt. A window-less pit of confusion and uncertainty.
The ego can be witnessed in a huge array of unpleasant personas. Manipulative, cunning and passive aggressive. Jealous, judgemental and offended. Arrogant, grandiose and self-righteous. Pushy, controlling and critical. Worrisome, fearful and scattered. Self-sabotaging and over-dramatizing. Stressed-out and numbed-out. The victim. The martyr. The perfectionist. And the list goes on…
The ego filters our perceptions of ourselves and others through fear, blame and judgement. It dictates how we respond and communicate in our relationships. It is the relentless voice inside our mind that judges everything and everyone. Unless we decide otherwise, the ego is the captain of our personal headquarters. The shady shot caller, ruling the vast majority of our human experiences.
When we view our lives through the ego, we see an endless string of battles. The ego incessantly reminds us to shield our heart and keep our weapons drawn. We march through life with the fearful belief that we constantly need to defend or attack. Rooted in viciousness and suspicion, the ego prevents us from truly feeling at peace.
(Photo: Rock n Roll Monkey on Unsplash)
In a twisted and convoluted way, the ego pretends to be our friend, our supporter and cheerleader. But in truth, the ego is none of this. Instead, the ego stirs up turmoil and angst.
Some aspects of the ego are tricky to spot. Many years ago at the beginning of my spiritual journey, my teacher pointed out that my ego had the facade of “being helpful”. Naturally I was offended because I was hearing these words through my ego! Wasn’t being helpful a good thing?
Finally, I got it. Being helpful IS a good thing…but ONLY when we come from a place of love. My being “helpful” was rooted in a fear-based urgency to “fix” life for people. I harboured an underlying fear that all was NOT well in life for myself, nor for others. Driven by fear, I didn’t extend helpfulness from my heart and soul. The soul extends pure love and compassion, thereby allowing us to truly be of help. On the contrary, the ego smacks people with tar-like fear and worry. The difference is massive.
For many of us, we see the ego as who we are. We think the ego is vital to us. We believe that we need the ego to protect us in a world of lack, fear and pain. But the ego won’t protect us; instead it keeps us unconscious in the dark, distracting us from our own divine light, as well as the love and light around us. When we ditch our ego-smudged lenses and look through the eyes of the soul, we begin to see a world of hope, compassion, love, light, good will and miracles.
Many decades ago when we were innocent, open-hearted children, we learned to respond to hurt and pain by building an inner defense system. In the name of self-protection, we shut down our heart and dimmed our light. We hid our spirit deep inside. We began developing beliefs about ourselves based on the reactions and emotions of those around us. Here the ego began to take shape.
(Photo: Caleb Woods on Unsplash)
As the years of our lives pass by, cobwebs form around the dark room where we abandoned our spirit. Behind a bolted door, our disheartened, starving soul waits for us to ditch the ego and embrace the radiant light that is our true essence.
Many of us are unaware that we have the choice to wake up and align with a greater power within us. The ego needs to keep us in its haze, otherwise its very existence is threatened. From the loving place of our soul, we can see that the ego is a fraud that can’t exist unless we keep believing in it and buying its delusional lies.
When we disconnect from the ego and stop believing its stories, the ego has no foundation to stick to. When we align with the divine spark within us, the ego looses its power. And then we are free. Free to be our authentic, loving selves. Free to feel joy and peace. When we are in alignment with our spirit, we see the world with compassion. We see the light in one another, as well as in ourselves.
(Photo: Jude Beck on Unsplash)
For the sake of our own well-being and expansion, it’s essential that we be aware of our ego’s various personas and shifty tactics. This requires that we be radically honest with ourselves. It also requires that we observe our moment-to-moment thoughts. As the ego’s original creator, it is up to us to take our power back. We need to rise up and call out our ego. We do this with compassion and understanding.
By attacking and judging our ego, we only further entrench ourselves in it. Instead of launching a war on our ego, we witness the ego with compassion, like one would hold space for an upset toddler. If we resent our ego, the ego wins. Instead, we view our ego through the eyes of love and compassion, namely through the eyes of our soul. After all, it is us who created this fear-based aspect of self. In an attempt to avoid hurt and pain, we hired the ego to be our toughest and trickiest spin doctor/body guard.
To unravel from the ego and live in oneness with your spirit, try these two simple steps:
Step A: Call out your ego
The first step is awareness. Here we commit to spotting and calling out the ego, without judgement or vengeance.
A verbal example of calling out the ego:
“I see you ego. I see your manipulations and lies. I’m done buying into your stories of unworthiness and fear. I don’t need your protection anymore. I am safe to open my heart. I am safe to let my light shine. You may rest now, ego. Your job is done. I am ready to live in a whole new way. I am ready to be the light.”
Step B: Align with your soul
Close your eyes. See or feel your heart opening. Breathe into your heart. Feel your heart softening. Like a newborn baby, feel its beautiful vulnerability.
Now see or feel the spark of light within you. Breathe into this light. With each deep inhale, see your spark growing bigger and brighter. Bigger and brighter. So big and so bright that the light encompasses and fills your entire body and beyond. Bathe in this warmth and love. Bask in the knowing that you are LOVE. This is your true essence, your authentic self. Radiant, compassionate and beautiful. You are the light.
The above two steps are effective when regularly practiced. If you need support, reach out. I am here for you.
Unwinding from the ego and living in alignment with our soul, takes awareness and practice. The more we practice, the easier it becomes to spot the ego. Meditation helps us get into the habit of opening our heart and aligning with our radiant divine light.
We can choose to continue living in an ego trance. Or we can choose to ditch the ego and allow our beautiful soul to shine bright. The choice is ours.
To learn more about Rachel, intuitive healer and clairvoyant, click here: https://www.rachelshoniker.com/rachels-story/